The Nineteenth Character...

She doesn't have junk in her trunk, but she does store some important things back there. She's one of the world's leading sources of vodka, and like a lot of carbohydrates she is very complex.

Aims is...

That horrible moment when you realise you are wearing your killer red heels, your hat and nothing else. Also you only have one ear for some reason.

Mrs Potato Head is sweet and patient, and she sounds just like George Costanza's mum. Anyone who has seen Amy sneak out of training to babysit Dela will not be surprised to discover that she loves the Pizza Planet Aliens.

Amy does not take it as a compliment to her abilities when you call her Mrs Head, so use her full name or else you will get seriously hurt. Yes, even though she has a very placid demeanour, if you get her angry then you will know about it.

So she was lying on the ground, and I whacked on my angry eyes, and kicked her while she was down there.

Things the internet has taught us:
The potato was the first vegetable to be grown in outer space.
The average American eats 64 kilos of potato every year.
The world's largest potato chip was made in 1990 and was 2 foot wide.

In Opposite-World, Amy's butt stares at you!

The Eighteenth Character...

She always been a friend to New Zealanders, and I've never seen her with any sheep, so she has definitely lost them and can't tell where to find them.

Kylie is...

Damn! Bo Peep got back.

Bo Peep (better known as Ho Peep) is a porcelain shepherdess figurine. Bo and her sheep often play the role of damsel in distress in Andy's plays. It has only recently been discovered that Kylie narrowly avoided being known as Mrs Hotato Head, which 82 out of 100 people surveyed put as their top answer. But luckily this blog does not follow Family Feud rules.

And if you tell me to be patient one more time, I will insert this crook somewhere very unpleasant.

Hey, what did Kylie's seven very short work mates say to her when they caught the same train as her one Monday morning? Hi Ho. It's off to work we go!

Things the internet has taught us: Everyone loves Spam, whether it be a Spam and cheese croissant for breakfast, a hot Spam sandwich for lunch or the always popular Spamghetti Bolognaise for dinner (why not all three!). However it is very sad to hear that some cultures do not allow people do eat pork products, even when mixed with spices and canned for delicious eternity.
However things are now looking up with the introduction of Splamb!

I'm going to tell people I lost you, while I enjoy a Splamb souvlaki with garlic sauce.

The Seventeenth Character...

She's a cyborg sent back from the future to kill Sarah Connor. She can't be bargained with! She can't be reasoned with! She doesn't feel pity, or remorse or fear. And she will not stop, ever!

Kate Sherwin is The Sherwinator, and also because there is only one Terminator looking dude in all the Toy Story movies she is also...

His name is Rocky Gibraltar, but that's not important right now.

Things we've learned from the internet: In 1991 a band called Arnee and the Terminators released the classic I'll Be Back, read these lyrics in your best Ahhnuld accent...

It's not that I'm ill-mannered or a psychopathic hater,
I just like to be treated right like any Terminator.
If I though I'd get results then I'd act a whole lot sweeter
But people always respect an Uzi Nine-Millimeter.

I've never had a problem
In getting what I lack
You don't need please or thank you
You just need! I'll be back.




The Sixteenth Character...

He's a very scary unit, rarely seen without a drink in his hand, and he always likes to keep his shoes on to hide the purple polish on his toe nails.

Copah is...

Copah always preferred onesie pyjamas.

Big Baby is a Bitty Baby doll with a lazy eye and a series of terrifying tattoos. When he drinks too much from the bottle that is apparently permanently attached to his hand, he gets mad at Lotso and likes to chuck her into dumpsters, so watch out for that CVD.

It has recently been discovered that Big Baby's full name is actually Big Prom Night Dumpster Baby, and although the identity of his father remains unknown, use of DNA matching and the LazyEye.com website has uncovered his mother...

Haha, your Mum is Paris Hilton...

Things the internet has taught us: The One Night In Paris video has been watched approximately 34,871,596 times, and according to his internet service provider, views 11,413,251 16,972,397 and 23,051,004 were all Copah, which is now super awkward now that she is his Mum.

The Fifteenth Character...

She likes to hug, she smells like strawberries and she can reset any man to demo mode with a flick of a switch.

CVD is...

You never stop mid Hokey-Pokey...

Lotso, or Bear as she is more commonly known is a plush pink teddy bear with a big plum coloured nose which she says isn't a result of lotso drinking, but we know better. She has a sweet strawberry scent and speaks with a Southern accent. She used to use a wooden toy mallet as a cane, but she only did that to annoy Dave about his ankle surgery.

CVD explains to KT how to defend a centre pass, Dave seems sceptical.

Here's an interesting fact, did you know that the van Dreumel surname is Dutch in origin, and that the Dutch people generally have very long and complicated names and, just like CVD, they are commonly known only by their initials. Lets see if you can recognise some famous Dutch people;

PVDH -  a swimmer and one for the ladies.

DK - a Victoria's Secret model in her swimmers.

GM - shmoke und a pancake? Shigar und a waffle?

Things the internet has taught us: "There's only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch." - This Guy

Batman's butler in happier times.

The Fourteenth Character...

He recently married his dream girl at their dream wedding. She drives her dream car and lives in her dream house.

Ben is...

Oh, Hi there ladies, I didn't hear you come in.

Ken is a smooth talking doll whose love of fashion and obsession with body sculpting do not even come close to making him feel better about not being anatomically correct. Now let's journey through Ben and KT's relationship as seen by Ben's ever-changing hair and outfits.

1. Ben and KT meet at a disco

2. Realising that his disco outfit was super-gay, Ben buys a Harley and draws on a tattoo for their next date.

3. Ben helps KT choose a car.

4. Ben proposes on a tropical island, it is surprising he could hide an engagement ring in those super small shorts.

5. Looking very sharp at the wedding.

6. Being sun-smart on the honeymoon (photo cropped to make you think he might be wearing pants)

7. Ben buys tiny dog and begins life as a Sugar Daddy.

Things the internet has taught us: Every second two Barbie's are sold in the world. There are approximately 27 Barbie's to every Ken which explains why Ken is so happy, and also explains where his kenis went, it fell off due to overuse.

The Thirteenth Character...

She is not a herbivore, but she is definitely a whiz on the computer and hornier than a goat.

Loz is...

Because goats only have two horns you see...

Trixie the Triceratops is one of Bonnie's toys from the third Toy Story. During one of the improv sessions, she mentions coming home from the doctor with "life-changing news". So we can safely assume that Toy Story 3 was made about 8 months before Dela was born. Trixie also chats online to a dinosaur toy down the street called Velocistar237, which almost certainly is Ryzah's secret Facebook name...

Loz tries to delete her internet search history, but it's too late...

Things the internet has taught us: Loz's last seven Google searches;

1. fish with big lips
2. submarine for hire
3. purple kettle
4. crocodile scars
5. tired after eating KFC
6. what do tongan people look like
7. how many chupa chups have they sold in the world

The Twelfth Character...

Some say that she is black with a white belly, others say that she is white with black not-belly, either way her all-white parents would have sat down to have some serious talks after she was born.

Leesy is...

It's too small to read, but the bow-tie says, "Motorboat me here"

Wheezy the Penguin is a small rubber squeeze toy. Some say that she lost her squeaker, some say that she is allergic to dust, and others say that with all the yelling she does during games she can never talk by presentation night.

Following a squeaker transplant from Mr Shark, Sleazy-Wheezy-Leesy develops a lovely singing voice that sounds a lot like the incomparable Robert Goulet.

Jingle bells, Batman smells. Robin laid an egg. The Batmobile lost its wheel. And the Joker got away. Hey!

Things the internet has taught us:
Penguins can't fly - neither can Leesy.
Penguins are warm blooded - so is Leesy.
Penguins are mostly found in the Southern Hemisphere - just like Leesy.
Penguins have short legs - this is becoming uncanny.
Penguins swallow their food whole - GTFO - Leesy is a penguin!

The Eleventh Character...

He's a long way from being extinct, and if you really look hard, you can see that his arms are way too little for his body.

Ryzah is...

Check out the grey chest hairs.

Rex is an excitable large, green, plastic Tyrannosaurus Rex who suffers from anxiety, an inferiority complex, and the concern that he is not scary enough. Ryzah is an expert at computer games, especially Buzz Lightyear: Attack On Zurg and Words With Friends.

T-Rex did not live in the Jurassic period, he did however live in the park of the same name. Rex actually lived during the Cretaceous period, roughly 65-85 million years ago, also the last time that Indiana had a decent basketball team.

No one really knows how long Ryzah will live for, as we have already learned, he was born at least 65 million years ago, and recently discovered footage sent back from Wall-E in 2805 shows that he is still around and still practising his dodgy ten-pin bowling skills.

"Leave me alone, it's hard to bowl with puny girl arms" - Anonymous

Things the internet has taught us: Translated from the original Latin, Tyrannosaurus Rex means Tyrant Lizard King, but that was for the boy dinosaurs, the girl dinosaurs were called Tyrannosaurus Banks which translates to America's Next Top Model Host

Tyrannosaurus Banks - might have been able to fly!

The Tenth Character...

She is so much better than a Magna-Doodle, and just like all police she thinks she is the fastest draw on the force.

Courtney Copah is...

Mark, that had better be my gun in your pocket.

Who didn't love an Etch-A-Sketch when they were growing up? There is a widely held theory that men only like playing with boobs because they are sub-consciously reminded of playing with their Etch-A-Sketch. Ladies should however be cautious to avoid any man who shakes them from side-to-side once they are finished playing.

Now Copah, I know what you are thinking, "wouldn't it be awesome if my character name was Magna-Doodle". Well yes, that would be an awesome character name, but that's not going to happen.

Things the internet has taught us: The Victorian Police website has a really cool section for kids, which is where I found this picture of Courts playing the role of Bad Cop during an interrogation.

You're off the case McGarnagle!
No. You're off your case Chief!
What does that even mean?
IT MEANS SHE GETS RESULTS YOU STUPID CHIEF!

The Ninth Character...

She dances a surprisingly good Paso Doble, and she has had so much practice at falling over, she can justifiably call it "falling with style".

KT is...

"KT plays the role of Al as Mossy retells the story of their engagement"

Buzz Lightyear of Star Command got his name as a tribute to real-life astronaut Buzz Aldrin. KT Fleisner got her name after her Dad lost a bet about how short Danny DeVito was while drunkenly watching Romancing The Stone. Originally she was going to be named Kathleen Turner, but in an act of kindness, he just went with the initials. Had she been born a boy, she was going to be named Danny Devito, or Double D for short, which coincidentally is Leesy's nickname.

Buzz Lightyear seems like a straight-laced sharp-shooter, but he is a hiding a terrible secret. Whenever KT has 4 vodkas, she transforms into the terrifying, Mrs Nesbit.

Dave figures out what's in KT's water bottle

Things the internet has taught us: Hamm is a pig, and Buzz is a spaceman, but do you know who the most famous Pig Spaceman of all time is? Ham Solo

Not Pictured: Chewbacon

The Eighth Character...

He only came onto the scene in Toy Story 3, but he impressed with his attention to detail and ability to work long hours.

Simon is...

CVD only had 2 spectating rules; Always be ready to clap and never ever blink.

The Cymbal Banging Monkey (Hello Cymbal if you are reading this) monitors the Sunnyside Daycare security cameras at night, and when Simon tells you that he likes to watch, he's probably not just talking about netball. Back away slowly...

Dave and Simon discuss Claire's playing time...

Things the internet has taught us: Simon like all accountants, spends most of his time at work typing 5318008 into his calculator and sniggering. He has allegedly bought a smaller calculator to make CVD's 5318008 seem bigger in comparison.

The Seventh Character...

He's a bit of a know-it-all, and definitely goes a shade of pink whenever he is exposed to direct sunlight, runs a little bit, or someone turns on a light globe brighter than 75 watts.

Bav is...

"Worst outtie belly-button ever"

Hamm is a wise-cracking realist piggy-bank with a cork in his belly instead of a stopper. Mild mannered porcine by day, at night he assumes his secret identity, that of super-villain the evil Dr Pork-Chop. Also, Leesy love piggies...

Things the internet has taught us: Pork Scratchings are one of the most unhealthy snack foods in the history of the world. They are made by covering pig skin in salt and then deep-frying them. Uncoincidentally, they are extremely tasty, and if you are looking for a nutritional loop-hole, they are extremely low-carb.

The Sixth Character...

She doesn't say very much, she has really expressive eyes and her first words were ooooh...the claw.

Dela is...

"Take me to Pizza Planet Mum, Dad says it's ok if you say it's ok"

What! You are giving kids character names now, how long is this whole character thing going to take? I'm conservatively estimating that the whole thing will take four weeks, probably a little less unless there are secret kids out there that I don't yet know about. I'm looking at you Copley's, it's a well known fact that 93% of Werribee girls have two kids to help them blow out the candles at their 21st birthday party. I'm just saying is all...

The Aliens are green and have bugged-out eyes, much like Dela when her mashed vegetables do not agree with her. In the Toy Story movies, the Aliens were adopted by Mr and Mrs Potato Head, but now thanks to this blog, we now know that the biological parents are Stinky Pete and Character To Be Named Later.

Things the internet has taught us: Dela was a pretty big baby, but according to the Guinness Book of Records, the largest baby ever born was 30 inches long and weighed 23 pounds and 12 ounces, and for those of you who only speak the metric system that is 76.2 centimetres and 10.8 kilograms, and for those of you who only speak Macca's, 23 pounds and 12 ounces is 95 quarter pounders.

That's a big baby, but that won't be the last Big Baby we see as we move through this list...

The Fifth Character...

She's used to organising an entire army of mixed netballers, even though sometimes they do act more like a barrel of monkeys.

Esther is...

"No vegetarians. Booyah!"

Sarge is the gung-ho commander of an army of plastic toy-soldiers. She runs a highly disciplined outfit and is a master of reconnaissance. Sarge's outfit has a strict Leave No Man Behind policy, but there are two vans and a heap of luggage, so accidents can happen.

Woody relies heavily on Sarge, and here we see a picture of the two of them discussing tactics...

Esther was a nervous flyer and wore her parachute at all times.

Things the internet has taught us: All army dudes and also netballers need to be vigilant against a terrible affliction known as Trench Foot. This is an infection of the feet caused by cold, wet and unsanitary conditions, which sounds an awful lot like a tournament at Knox to me. Trench Coats however are both fashionable and highly recommended.