The Checklist...

Take a leaf out of Santa's playbook and check this list, and then check it twice. Try to work out what's crap and what's good advice.

Just like Santa's list, this one is in alphabetical order as well, no extra charge for that either...

Babysitter - so you don't wake up in the middle of the night wondering where Dela is

  

Cash - just some walking around money

Characters - just a quick reminder of who is whom, there might be a test during the week;

Dave = Woody

Mossy = Jessie

Allah = Big Al (aka Chicken Man)

Amos = Mrs Potato Head

Bav = Ham

Bear = Lotso Huggin' Bear

Copah = Big Baby

KT = Buzz Lightyear

Kylie = Bo Peep

Loz = Trizie

Ryzah = Rex

Tonah = Stinky Pete

Es = Sarge

Leesy = Wheezy

Dela = Pizza Planet Alien

Ben = Ken Doll

Courtney Copah = Etch-A-Sketch

Simon = Cymbal Banging Monkey

The Sherwinator = Rocky Gibraltar

Cramp Reduction Kit - magnesium tablets, tonic water, regular water

Day to day clothes -

• jeans
• tracksuits
• tops
• t-shirts
• sunglasses
• smoking jacket
• bubble pipe
• pyjamas
• definitely remember pyjamas

Extra-Special New Singlet - the one that most of us got at Shagy's on Wednesday


Game-related injury prevention devices - braces, tape, blister pads, etcetera...


Game-related stink prevention equipment - deodorant


General Hygiene (this is an important one) - 

•  toothpaste and toothbrush
• shampoo and conditioner (not for the baldies)
• head razor (for baldies who are faking it)
• normal razor
• make-up
• deodorant
• perfume
• man perfume
• moisturiser
• hairspray/fudge/gel - whatever you prefer
• hair straightener
• bobby pins
• hair elastics
• scrunchies (are they a thing anymore?)

Important non Big-V playing gear - 

• netball shoes
• one plethora of socks
• lucky underwear
• regular underwear
• skins
• sports bras
• crop tops
• hair ribbons for special occasion games
• thongs for in between games

Mobile Phone - Leesy tells me good things about her Nokia, but probably no need to buy a new phone just for this.


Phone Charger - I saw Allah fix one last year using only a fork, it was super impressive

Presentation Night Glamour - for those not shopping until dropping on the rest day you should remember;

• suits
• shirts
• ties
• dresses
• shoes
• spanx
• belts
• cuff links
• black socks
• cummerbund
• etcetera 

Recovery Session Gear; bathers and a towel

Roomies - most of us will have a roomie, here we see a picture of CVD and KT celebrating when they found out that they wouldn't be sharing with Copah...

Bearzy pushes all KT's buttons...

Theme, The - It's Toy Story people, get with the program...

You're living in the past!

Uniform - all that lovely Big-V branded gear;

• playing shirts
• shorts
• dresses
• walk-out top
• warm-up top
• hoodies
• jackets
• towel
• trackie-dacks
• bag to keep it all in

VPL - this now stands for Very Provocative Lingerie and will be mandatory for entrance to the Presentation Night limo

The Phillip Island Recap...

Phillip Island was originally named after its discoverer, Phyllis Ipland, but that was just too confusing, so they renamed it Phillip Island a few years ago. It is also where Mother Moss has her holiday house and very conveniently was the location for our team-bonding singalong and fitness session.

Most of the team got down to the island on the Friday night and had a very relaxing evening. Mossy practiced her Tai Chi while attempting to get a phone signal in her lounge room. Copah decided to give up beer and spent the evening having a sauna. Alla was robbed in his footy best and fairest count and Dave got in at some ungodly hour. Claire was completely flummoxed by the concept of a handbrake that you work with your foot in Bav's car (yes technically it's Leesy's car) while KT and Ben spent the evening prowling rental websites. Meanwhile Kyzah, Ryzah and Esther were enjoying some wedding hospitality about 3 and a half hours away.

However the person who made the biggest sacrifice to be there was Aims who had to tell her boyfriend that she couldn't make it to his Grand Final. Of course she did tell him while taking her top off, so he just smiled and nodded and was probably completely surprised when she wasn't there.

Right, stop thinking about that, back to the story. We all got the the bottom of Cape Woolamai by 7.59am, and took a walk down to the beach. After stepping across a line in the sand that was both literal and metaphorical, the day was underway.

Activity 1 was a timed run over an alleged 5 kilometre course. Allah started the event at the prohibitive Black Caviar like odds of a $1.01 for the win, and won it like an odds-on favourite should.

Phillip Island - Race 1 Results

Track Good - Weather Fine

1. (5) Allah Mac W: $1.01 P: $1.00

2. (4) Ryzoplasty P: $1.20

3. (3) Bav In Black P: $6.50

4. (7) Aim Of The Game NTD

Quinella: (4,5): $1.22 Exacta: 5-4: $1.25

Trifecta: 5-4-3: $54.50

First 4: 5-4-3-7: $211.70

Stewards Report: Copahcabana threw two shoes entering the final straight. Jockey on Lotz And Loz found to be way overweight, horse to be spelled immediately.

Following a brief recovery session and a very fruitful team chat, it was back down to the beach for Activity 2, the beach session. We were split into groups of 2, there was Team Hat made up of Allah and Bav, and a whole bunch of other groups who were presumably all called Team No Hat.

I'm a bit hazy on most of the details, but there were hill sprints, push-ups, box jumps, planks, sit-ups, burpees, mountain-climbers and possibly one other, which might just have been more hill sprints. And there were three circuits with 45 seconds on and then 45 seconds off.

From what I am told, most people did really well, however I have checked my phone and I've received a couple of texts which are quite enlightening;

Q. What's Bav's favourite band?

A. Regurgitator

Just looked up "cramp" in the dictionary, look at what I found...

At the end of the second activity Tonah, Copah and Bav's stomach lining were all scratched from the final event, The Amazing Race.

After finishing the word jumble and decoding the hidden message, Team Ginger Ninja plus Kylie were off and running/walking down the beach. Right behind them were Team Melanin.

Team Ginger were the first to reach Esther on the beach and had to build a sand castle with walls up to the logo on her pants. Unfortunately, Esther isn't cool enough to wear her pants slung down low, but fortunately she isn't so old that she wears them up to her armpits, but either way it was a tough build. Ginger Ninja Ryan used his landscape building knowledge to spearhead the effort, and the Gingas retained their lead.

Esther revealed the next challenge, counting the number of squares in a 10 x 10 chess board type thingy. The GMNT (Ginger Mutant Ninja Turtles) quickly came up with the answer of 385, leaving the cast of Jersey Short trailing in their wake.

Some more stuff happened, Alla and Aims went for another run to count stairs and it turned out that it was a draw in the end.

Then came everyones favorite part of the day, eating pies and then driving home.

What a great weekend.